Before I start in on the not-so-pleasant, let me remark on the wonderful things in my life.
-Mr. B finished EMT school with flying colors (this is his 4th diploma-haha) and upon passing the National Registry Exam (he already passed the state exam and can be hired as an EMT) this week he will start Paramedic school! This boy works so hard and I love to see how excited he gets about learning all things medical. In terms of a job, he has an interview with Bartlet F.Dept on Wednesday and has some other options with EMT companies. Please pray that he will get the best position that will allow him to keep up with school. It's going to be a very challenging next 6 months (or so) in the O'Dell household, but that's how we like it....I mean...that's how we do it.
-Mr. Jack seems to be doing well. In the last two weeks I've gotten HUGE. And by huge I mean started to look pregnant and at the end of the day I feel like I'm leaning backwards (and upon looking in the mirror can not deny the fact that I am indeed, leaning backwards). This causes a great deal of discomfort, but I'm assuming it's going to get worse before it gets better. ALSO, he moves and wiggles and karate chops and disco dances all. the. time. I mean, non stop. And I really am not exaggerating. (Also, he feels like he's stabbing me with his fingers...any other mama's felt that?) I'm pretty sure he's already developed the restless leg syndrome of Mr. B and is going to be the most hyper active child ever. Oh well. I'm so happy he's moving, it would be scary if he weren't. I just wish he would be a little more gentle and discriminating on when he has karate practice (aka the middle of the night). Well Mr. Jack, you won't have very much room soon-muhuhahaha.
-School is going. I feel like I've been teaching for a month, but the early wake up call gets to be an easier task every year. I have my first evaluation (a fifteen minute drop in) this Wednesday and I'm a little apprehensive about it. It seems that I'm mainly scored on my lesson plan (paperwork) and interpreting the verbiage and invoking the language are not my strong points. But if I'm supposed to keep this job, it will be here for me. A continual practice in letting go of control....
I like my students, and although I did have to be "mean" to a certain 10th grade boy who thinks his God given talent is comedy, which let me assure you it's not, I've been mostly nice. Actually, I've had three different kids start crying on me this week (which I promise it's not because I was being mean), and it has been a reminder that they're real people, not robots sent to harass me everyday. They're kids, not adults and they have a difficult time dealing with life...more difficult than I do I'm sure. It's ruminating and humbling.
And now...for the unpleasantness. Mr. Jack, whom I love, has caused me quite a bit more stress than I had originally envisioned. And I'm a realistic person, but some things have to experienced to really be known and pregnancy is one of those things.
Last week I went in to get a gestational diabetes screening (where they...breathing deeply...have to extract precious resources from a certain location in your arm). Well, I didn't pass. Which doesn't mean I have "the beetus", but rather means I've had to be on a strict diet for the last two days, have to fast tonight, wake up tomorrow (skipping a whole day of school...losing one of my few coveted paid days off), have the "precious resources" extracted from my body for the third time, drink some nasty sugar drink (think snow cone syrup times ten), wait an hour, precious resources extracted for the 4th time, wait an hour, and PRE again for the fifth time. And to make things worse, my insurance is the only one of many that requires PRE from your arm rather than a prick.
I. am. sick.
I have the most irrational fear of ne*d%es and a great sensitivity to my vei$@ that even when talking about it I get really dizzy. I'm the person who faints when they get a shot. One time in Wilderness First Responder class they started talking about vasodialation and I passed out. It's awful. I'm starting to lean over the keyboard right now. I don't know my vocab well enough to come up with a stronger word than distraught.
And the worst part is that if I don't pass the test this time, I will not only have "the beetus", but will have to check my b. sugar level four times a day. I can't think about that now.
So, I'm evoking your sympathy, your prayers, whatever you've got. I thought maybe talking about it would help since I woke up about every hour last night thinking "8:45=Dday, did I fast? is it Monday?" Let's hope exposure therapy starts to work, because I don't want to deal with this anymore.
And I'm done talking about it.
SOOoooooooo, how's everyone else doing? Does anyone even read this? Who cares, it's good for me to write/ramble.
Geez. Hope this isn't indicative of the type of mother I'm going to be.
This post is ending really weird and really sad. To make it up to you (as in, my mom who reads this) I'll make a new post with pictures...and few words.
I have a great life. Sometimes it's stressful, often times it's stressful, but I'm happy to be here. And here's the Fall coming soon!
7 comments:
Aw I had g.diabetes with Audrey and I am the same way about needles and blood...my doc was so impressed that I didn't pass out doing the finger pricks. Hopefully you won't have it but if you do, call me I have some supplies ( sterile, untouched) you can have.
You are in our thoughts, Emily. I'm sorry you are having to go through this.
Would it make you feel better if I told you that almost every time I have blood taken I cry? Not because it hurts but because I'm so stressed out. Just reading your post stressed me out. I'm sorry, it'll be over soon!
hang in there my friend ... i hope you enjoy your phlebotomies ... i always think it's good when the needle hits my vein the first time, instead of my nerves ... as it can hurt a lot ... then of course there is my friends susie q the subcutaneous injection and lance the lancet finger-sticks ... but hang in there my friend ... cheers from crazy j
and hang in there mrs. b. =)
of course i like it when the roller coaster speeds along between 90 and 160. but some times it can get too slow or too fast and either condition can kind of suck ... and require my other friends of D5W, NS, and insulin =)
and then there is my friend fast freddie the good claim, and msgt.malfunction junction the mixed up claim ... oh it requires prior authorisation, over ride is required.. sorry the rx has expired ...
anyway ... enjoy the roller coaster fun =)
Yes, I do read these and yes, I am praying.
You people are great! I made it, it got easier after the fourth one and I don't have diabetes!!! Thank you all for your support and care, I feel very loved! And thanks for letting me be whiny...not that you could have stopped me...
There's a cool little gadget called a widget that will let readers subscribe. I can teach you how to use it if you tell me how to make a question mark! Seriously, I'd like to read your posts as you write them, not weeks later, which tends to happen when people like you and me write sporadically. Love the writing and the rambling. I think both make for perfectly acceptable mothers.
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